O is for Overlooking an Offense

"A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression"

Proverbs 19:11

Today was my last Monday at work. I absolutely can't believe my time there is coming to a close. While I am so excited about what the future holds, it is hard to say goodbye to my students. Because of the unique needs of my students, I have a bond with them that extends past their academic needs. This week will be very bittersweet for me as I close the book to one chapter in my life and look forward to the chapter ahead. I apologize in advance if I am MIA these next couple of days-life is crazy as I close out my time at school.

My parents have been married for 34 years, 11 months and 3 weeks! I am so incredibly blessed by them, and am so thankful for the model they have been for me. Even after 4 kids, they are a great display of what true oneness looks like. What I respect most about their relationship is their ability to overlook an offense. To be honest, my parents modeled healthy conflict resolution for us as children. I never saw (or heard) them raise their voice towards one another, but was able to witness their approach towards talking things over and pushing into one another.

My dad is the very definition of servant-hearted. He loves his family through his faithful service and selfless sacrifice. He is the man that will stand at the sink washing dishes long after the rest of the family has walked away. If he could, he would eat at 5 different restaurants in one night so every person in the family got what they wanted. For as long as I can remember he has helped with the laundry. What a great servant! In almost 35 years of marriage, my dad has never folded the socks together. Without fail, when my mom is putting away laundry the socks are all flying solo.

You would think this would be one of those small blisters that rub a relationship raw, but my mom chose to shift her focus. She had one of two choices-she could lament about his lack of doing the laundry the "right" way, or she could have a heart of gratitude for his service. Honestly, it takes 4 extra seconds to find the mate and fold the socks together. It is an offense to be overlooked.

I have a dear friend who got married a year before I did. She is a woman who is committed to serving the Lord and loving her husband. I have been so blessed to have someone to share life with as we both learn what it means to be a wife. Recently she was sharing a similar laundry story that has really stuck with me. My sweet sister-in-Christ can be a little particular at times. She has her way of doing things, and this was no different for her laundry routine. She always liked to put the empty hangers at the front of the closet so they were easily accessible when she was putting clothes away. She made a very simple request that her husband to do the same. He didn't. She asked again. He didn't. By the third time she could feel the annoyance build, but she asked him again. He didn't. Her heart softened, and she realized this was an offense to be overlooked. Is the placement of a hanger worth anger or bitterness? What was more important-her marriage or her laundry routine? She released the anger, and found freedom in focusing on her spouse.

 

Friends, so often we have a simple weed that sprouts up, but we water it and allow it to grow until it has penetrated our inner-selves. What begins as a minor offense, grows to be an impasse that tears down marriages. Overlooking an offense goes so much deeper than lip service...it extends to our heart. While we live in a "me-marriage" society that focuses on what we can get out of a relationship, we have the opportunity to live in opposition to this selfish mindset. As a wife, we have the opportunity to live in the fullness of joy, but that can not happen when we are holding onto an offense.

What offense can you overlook? My dear friend Marci from Life with Joys has told me that she likes to "tattle" to God. When she feels upset or wronged, she will go to her knees, but then leave it there. How beautiful it would be if we were to live that way in our marriages?!?!

Monday Pintrest Finds:

1. Verse of the Week: Etsy-Kijsa

 

2. How to Color Block: Navy Polo

 

3. 10 Goodwill Valentines: A Night Owl Blog

 

4. 55 Snacks under 200 calories: Social Cafe

 

5. Brunch Skewers: Simply Gina